I have figured it out …

What you might ask?
Well, why people are so overweight or course!
I know, you are asking how so many people have tried and I, your lowly want-to-be wordsmith has come to the final conclusion?
Some think it is genetics, some lazy, some bad eating habits, more with the lazy thoughts, some say TV, and some blame reincarnation issues from there previous alien bodies …
I am going to start a new line of though if you will.
I am going with because it makes God happy!
O go ahead and throw the whole “Genesis 1:27 - And God created man in His own image” then also in “Corinthians 6:19 - Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit” and how we need to respect it and treat it well and all that jazz.
Now, to my thoughts on this matter!
God created us in his image and resides in us so we are supposed to be a temple of respect in his image.
I’m good with this, honestly I am, but when was the last time anyone has scene the BIG GUY though?
What I am saying it, over time our bodies change.
Joints start to hurt a little, wrinkles form and our hair turns a different color.
The big one though is, we normally gain weight.
Now I think that this must be the natural progression of the human form, and because we are made in God’s form for him also.
Yes people are fatter today because more people, who must be closer to God then the rest, are taking on a closer form and look like God.
O, you think that I am throwing out blasphemies aren’t you.
I disagree!
We have a population of more then any other time.
We have more evil in the world then ever before.
God has a lot of enemies right now and putting them all ‘under his foot’ is taking awhile because, let’s face it, times are tough!
So, let’s say I am getting a little older and working like 16 hours a day do I really have time or the energy to go home eat healthy and then work out too?
I can totally see God coming home at the end of the day smacking Jesus and Michael on their backs saying what a good job they have done you know throwing flaming swords around and saving people and just longing to eat real fast and then get some sleep before he has to start up ruling the universe in the morning … again …
So God, being all knowing and powerful, does what is the most efficient to get this schedule going as quickly as possible.
He swings by the big Golden Arches in the Sky!
You know they are there we have heard for years and years about St. Peter standing out in front of them after all!
(We all saw what happened to Morgan Spurlock in Super Size Me after all.)
So, now on to the other side of my point …
We are destroying the world by building everything we can think of everywhere they let us.
This leads us to fewer places to bury our dead …
So more people are getting cremated …
I know you have no clue were I am going with this one …
So reading through “Leviticus 3” it tells us why this is important …
(Wow even I feel a little dirty typing this out so I had better at least get a ‘Wow that’s messed up” smirk out of you people!)
God says to Moses that if people are to make a communion sacrifice they need to take all of the fatty organs and fat in general and burn it because this gives God a ‘Restful Odor”.
You all with me now?
That’s right, cremating fat people makes god Happy because as Jesus said to us after all that we are ‘Sheep’.
I am not sure why God likes the smell of burning fat, I might ask him right before he throws me into that long pit to hell, but the Bible does say it and I am just connecting the dots … without numbers I might add so I am getting all kinds of strange images!Yea, I know, all that for a big build up to nothing good, and possibly a straight shot into hell for my blasphemies.