So I have been trying to loose some weight.
I got a Bow-Flex, a Treadmill and some Slim Fast Shakes.
I personally have not scene a difference but my wife keeps saying that there is one.
I have had to put a new notch or two in my belt but I think it is all psychosomatic and in fact it is an attempt to have a man girdle without people noticing or poking fun … I might add because I would pop if poked to hard!
I am starting to think that it is not my fault that I am over weight.
It could not be when I was younger with an ulcer and drank about a gallon of whole milk a day.
Or that I might sit in front of the TV for hours on end or even more so the computer … you see the things I am putting up with to keep you all in the loop!
I am starting to think that it is all in my genes … yeppers if I had a nicer looking and more flattering tight set of them I might look thinner!
Hehe I know the joke isn’t the best but it is all ‘relative’ to the subject … OK that joke wasn’t so good either …
The issue I am about to have though is that I will have to go buy new clothing.
So that costs money!
Diet food and supplements and all the other things that you are supposed to do also cost money.
So the trick is you need to be a Dr. or a Lawyer or just some other rich type of person to be thin!
Unless you are like a certain Hotel heiress and then you just need Cocaine I guess and or other party drugs?
So to get Cocaine legally you would need a prescription … also on all diet items it says please consult your Dr. before taking … I am starting to see a trend!
I think that Dr.s are behind the fitness problems with the world!
It all makes since now!!! They fill us up with pills that make us lazy, hold water and just a lot of other issues so that we can’t get up to our full potential.
Then they tell us to loose weight making us feel bad and depressed and give us more pills.
So the trick is don’t take pills or go to the Dr?
It would be less costly in the long run I guess … more painful but we would more then likely die sooner because our blood pressure or our cholesterol is all crazy.
Is it worth saving a few bucks and the possibility of being thin?
I THINK SO!!!
I have problems working out to loose weight also.
I want to work out for an hour and I want to see my abs … or my toes …
But no, that is not how it works now is it?
I took years to build this mound I call a body and now I fear it will take years to loose it … kind of like walking away from it but O I fear I will have to walk to China to loose sight of it.
Glad we got our Pass Ports!
The other issue is that at my age I really can’t say that it is baby fat anymore.
I mean yes I look like I am a Prego but in fact I am a guy and … well I REALLY hope that isn’t the case.
Also the child should have started talking by now I think because it is WAY past 9 months of being this size!
Being a Prego might have some pluses though?
I could eat weird things at all hours of the night and then yell at people who look at me funny.
I could have crazed mood swings and blame it on being kicked from the inside!
I could make other people do things for me and just say my back hurts!
I could demand a table not a booth at restaurants!
I could demand foot rubs because my feet are tired and swollen!
I could get up and walk away from boring or strange people saying I have to go to the bathroom right after I got back form it.
This isn’t sounding so bad …
Then we also go back to the weight loss issue too.
Yes you gain a few pounds but morning sickness helps relieve that doesn’t it?
I mean come on now we all know that Bulimia works!
I don’t think I would make a pretty Prego though.
I mean I know I could pull off the little sun dresses and all but my hair is just to short on my head and to long on my legs and I think that everyone would say things like I was also a Lesbian on top of being a fat Prego piggy?
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2 comments:
You're clearly in shape because 'round' is a shape. With that said, I've never heard one person mention anything about your body type or your weight. I'm thinking perhaps it has to do with your thinking process, (or lack thereof). Your family is behind you one hundred percent, in anything that you do. The fact that you can't see them there matters not.
By the way, I would hope you're a lesbian. I know what the opposite is and you ain't one.....is you???
This is GOOD news! It was announced yesterday, and NOT in the National Enquirer but on MSNBC, that a "major research survey" (and aren't they all?) has found (are you ready???): THINKING MAKES YOU FAT! Do you hear the "Hallelujah Chorus" being sung from the heavens? FINALLY, someone understands! All those skinny minnies? DUMMIES!!!! Yahoozers! The researchers went on to say that periods of studying/reading/heavy thinking (!) need to be broken up by periods of exercise or . . . you will get fat. I want to mention they specifically stated it was the intense brain activity that made one pile on the pounds, not the fact the "thinker" was just sitting around watching tv or anything. I don't know about you, I will now be doing less serious brain work - you should see the pounds start to fall off as well as the level of conversation fall off to a new level of banality. :-) Or, uh, well, you may NOT notice any difference in the conversation . . . sighhhhhhhhhh
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